"Who took the cork out of my lunch?"

"I must have a drink of breakfast."

Comedian & Actor

WC Fields

"We don't have a plan so nothing can go wrong"

“Patience, thought Milligan, that word was invented by dull buggers who couldn't think quick enough.”

Comedian & Author

Spike Milligan

“Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.”

“Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you're heading for a crash. What I'm against is blind flying.” 


Mae West


“A man's gotta know his limitiations” 

Movie Character

"Dirty" Harry Callaghan

"The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right."

"“Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason."


Mark Twain

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

Politician and Statesman

Abraham Lincoln

"It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance."

Economist & Social Theorist

Thomas Sowell

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