Comedian & Actor
"Who took the cork out of my lunch?"
"I must have a drink of breakfast."
Comedian & Author
"We don't have a plan so nothing can go wrong"
“Patience, thought Milligan, that word was invented by dull buggers who couldn't think quick enough.”
“Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.”
“Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you're heading for a crash. What I'm against is blind flying.”
“A man's gotta know his limitiations”
"The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right."
"“Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason."
Politician and Statesman
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
Economist & Social Theorist
"It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance."